called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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