My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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