i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
