If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just threw up on my dentist
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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