haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well I just put wine in my tea
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
