Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
