I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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