im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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