He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
did you just send me my own nude
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
