Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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