I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
