So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
