I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
