:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
