2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize