At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
