It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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