I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
