then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
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There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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