I heard we made out
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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