Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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