she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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