I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Two words: blizzard sex
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
