Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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