I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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