it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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