On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
