we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize