I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
