I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
