As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
