she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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