and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
