he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
