O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize