well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We had to coat check the pizza.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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