im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
