TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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