Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
