I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This is the high leading the old right now
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize