i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
