that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he fucked my hip out of place.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
