so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
