I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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