They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
