Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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