On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
