Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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