she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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