Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
