Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You need a sexual gate keeper
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
