Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it glows. i had to have it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.