Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.