Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.