tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that