Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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