I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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