pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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