I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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