Only a mothe r could love this liver
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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