i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
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Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
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We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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