Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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