people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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