I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
