At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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