just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Pants are for mortals
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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