Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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