I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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