I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
